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The following are some red flags early in the relationship that should tell you to move on, get out, or run away as fast as you can. These are in no particular order.
1. He never seems to want to take you to his house. This means
A. He might be homeless. He does not have a house, or apartment, or a pot to piss in for that matter.
B. He is married or living with someone.
If his house is a wreck, he probably not care too much although could be at least a tad embarrassed if he has any kind of shame. He might clear off the pizza boxes and the XBOX games for you to sit next to him on the couch while he watches sports, but at least he invites you over. Even if he has eleven roommates or lives at home with his parents, if it means he gets to have sex with you, he will sneak you in late at night and do you in the laundry room in necessary. But if he doesn’t take you home at all, see the above. It is most likely choice B, although I have had both occurrences happen to me in the recent past.
2. He has too many children by too many women. I’d say if he is in his mid-thirties and has two or three children by two or three women, this is too many. He obviously has some commitment issues. On the plus side, it at least means he is fertile. But with that many kids by that many women, he is probably broke with child support or has had a vasectomy or needs one. Date this one only casually. He is probably very charming and possibly a great lover to convince so many women to carry his seed.
3. He wants to have a baby too soon. Now I am in my mid-thirties and the baby thing comes up. This is expected. I have been informed by men in that dating women in their thirties without children it is expected that they would like some and only a fool would believe a woman in her thirties is “on the pill.” Wrap it up regardless, okay? I have rejected perfectly great gentlemen because they already have children, do not want anymore and have had vasectomies. A couple of them are great and I really enjoy their company, but I know there is no future. We want different things out of life.
That is all fine and good if you at least bring up that babies are on the radar for you too, but I had a guy say (admittedly while making out and people say crazy shit when they are aroused) “I want to get you pregnant so you will stay.” That is crazy. That is psycho. This was also on a first date. Yes, we have been talking on the phone and all for weeks, but still, that is just weird and possessive on the first date. Perhaps he was thinking that he would impregnate me before I would come to my senses and leave his ass but it would already be too late. He is amazingly perceptive. I got out of their Scott free and with my virtue intact.
4. If he says “I love you too soon.” Obvious sign of desperation.
5. Asks odd question about domestic violence. I had one guy confess he only hit a woman two or three times. Two or three times too many, if you ask me.
Another quote from a date after a huge diatribe about his kinky and cuckoo ex-wife he asked, “Do you beat people?” It was such a ridiculous question; all I could answer was “Not even at monopoly.” I am sitting here talking this to the man thinking that I might come off as the freaking Virgin Mary because I don’t have a criminal record.
6. Does not seem to be the least bit interested in your family, job, or life in general. He just wants a peace of ass.
7. He keeps on wanting you to drive. Several reasons for this.
A. Too cheap/broke to afford gas
B. Does not even have a car (of course, I will not even meet a man who cannot DRIVE to meet me somewhere)
C. Has a suspended license
D. Has every intention of getting toasted
E. Too busy checking his phone/Blackberry to text other girls, illegally gambling or some other nefarious activity that needs constant attention.
8. Checking his phone too much is a problem in general. Either it is for the above reasons or he is trying to avoid you. I was on a date once and he was pretty much courteous. The only time he answered his phone was to take a call from his wife.
9. Bad kisser. Need I say more?
10. He won’t pay even on a first date. This goes again to either being too broke or not that into you. Even if he were broke, he can take you somewhere cheap and interesting. Be aware of “He’s not that into signs.”
