Format of the “Sporting some Triple D’s.”

I am going to divide up my entries in three categories: Divorce, Dating, or Dieting.  Out of those three categories will be subsets.  Example:

Divorce: Living Alone 

Divorce: Who Gets the Friends?

Divorce: How to remain friends with an ex without a restraining order?

Divorce:  What is the statute of limitations for favors for ex-wives?

Dating: He’s so not my type.

Dating: Why the fascination with capes and go-go boots? The Wonder Woman chapter.

Dieting: Body Image- The Tankini.

Dieting: “Date Calories” still count.

These are just some ideas of future entries.  Some are already written I just want to parse them out bit by bit.  At some point I will do a search and see what I wrote most about and therefore find my true obsession.  Will it be: Divorce (heartbreak) Dating (sex, love, and men) or Dieting (body image and food).

I have writing under a “nom de plume” and I am changing the names of any and all “involved” but other than that, this is all true, at least the trust I remember.   I have no desire to defame or implicated any “innocent” men including my ex-husband, my current serious boyfriend, and some other “romantic friends” who might not have even realized we were my “romantic friends.”

A note about my ex-husband:  He really is a gem.  Yeah, I’m pissed.  I am heartbroken our little life didn’t turn out like either one of us wanted.  I believe we both miss the comfort and companionship we shared for a number of years.  The last two were a little rough, but I don’t want to paint the whole 12 years as terrible because they weren’t.  We both had the best of intentions.  The ex is actually kind of encouraging this writing venture.

 His reasons are two-fold. One is that he believes I do have some talent and that I would benefit from writing about this experience and we believe that the “world” might benefit from my “refreshing perspective” about the whole divorce, dating, and dieting thing.  He sees me as a victor and a survivor and, like me, believes others would benefit from my experience.  Someone needs to tell “my side” of this weird-ass divorce because really, this is not typical.  Trust me.  His second reasoning is a “return on investment.”  We kind of made this “deal.”  He first offered in the unlikely event that I become rich and famous of this shit and end up on Oprah (not Jerry Springer, because we’re classy) he asked for 2% of the profits.  I suggested he get a good lawyer because I teased that I knew I had a good one.  He then offered just that he get his 401k back.  (I got half of his retirement in the divorce which I am entitled to according to state law.)  I thought that was fair.  Of course, if published I would mask his identity.  I do love him and always will.  I do not wish to “punish” him or mare his reputation because, really, this is no one’s “fault.”

Love:   What is love, afterall?  Sometimes in a new relationship people say, “I’ve never felt like this before.”  I believe that is true.  Each couple reinvents love for themselves and each other over and over again.  More on that later.

To reinvention (feel free to toast whatever glass of beverage to the screen at this time.)

                My family and even some of my friends believe that I am not “angry” enough.  They think I should have “gone for everything I could get.”  Others think I am some kind of gold digger/whore and my ex is some kind of victim.  Come to my itty-bitty apartment and again tell me what kind of gold digger I am.  As for the second part?  Go fuck yourselves because I’ve hardly been giving it away, alright?  Even my father said, “You have been going without love for a long time, Charlotte, and you deserve some romance in your life.” I don’t know if he is encouraging me to get laid or anything, but I think he is saying “You are 35 years old, I can’t wait for a grandchild forever.”  I could be putting words in his mouth, but still.  Neither my ex-husband, my father, nor my new boyfriend thinks I am a “bad girl,” I don’t know why anyone else would.  And really, I think they would be more of an authority and have a lot more to say on the matter if it were true.

But I digress.  I still think I would like to EARN my way to Hell rather than get there on a technicality.