The Unholy Trinity

The quest for a suitable mate, a partner, frined, lover, etc. is a daunting one.  There are so many factors to consider.  Do you choose someone because you get along so well?  Someone you can really talk to, have fun with?  Or do you choose someone who turns you on in away that you never thought was possible to feel so alive?  Is it possible to get both?  And who decides?   

My heart, mind, and coochie have different agendas and they will not show up for meetings. 

Let’s start first with my mind.  My mind knows that I should find a suitable partner.  I should find an educated, professional man with a decent income and we can have a comfortable life together, nothing extravagant, just so we don’t have to worry.  And we will have sparkling conversations full of witty banter and deep philosophical discussions on the subjects of art, music, politics, philosophy, whatever strikes our fancy because we would never run out of things to talk about.   The age or sex appeal of this individual, let alone gender does not really matter as long as we can discuss and “get each other” on an intellectual level.  It is important to have friends.  Yeah, but if there is not spark….  And really, I have to be with a guy.  I am straight really.  As much as men can be a pain in the ass, I still like them and really want them to like me.  It ain’t no thing without that schwing.

My coochie, or “Ms. M” as she is sometimes referred because she is a lady, after all, she has an agenda all her own.  She has two main goals: get laid and get pregnant.  With these two prime directives, she wants me to choose younger, sexy men that appear to have strong genetic features and look like the know how to fuck.  I hate Ms. M sometimes.  I wish she would shut up.  She is so unrelenting sometimes!  But once she at least has her first goal attained (in whatever manner that satisfaction might come, she is easily confused) she is conspicuously quiet.  It is like once the hunger is sated; the slut monster will return to its cave and leave the villagers in peace for a time.  That time being about 25-28 days or until the ovulation rolls around again and I should be locked up for the safety of man. 

My heart…. Well.. She doesn’t have much to say.  She is a like a wounded animal cowering in the back of a cage that would rather bite your hand off if you tried to help.  We are just going to leave her alone right now and let her heal right now.

Except, I need my heart.  She needs to regulate the mind and the body to come to a good decision.  Those other two characters cannot be trusted.  The mind likes, the body lusts, but it is the heart that loves.  Maybe love is when the mind and the body agree on one person.  It is the heart that makes sure the other two stay in line and don’t think too much of themselves. 

For example, I had a very, let’s say “fulfilling” courtship with an older man mostly via phone. I chatted with him online and whatnot and we talked a lot on the phone in the few weeks before I left the Midwest.  He was very intelligent and witty although his humor had a distasteful bitterness that I saw as a warning sign. He was highly educated and in a professional line of work, but was not all that successful at it and I could tell he was barely scraping by, although he tried to cover it up.  He was in worse shape than I was professionally and financially speaking.  I am not saying that money is everything, but it is a factor.  Why lie?  And as far as a spark, very little and that fizzled out.  Besides, he thought he was so smart; he treated me like a bimbo.  Anyone who knows me would think that is laughable.

Another recent relationship was with a younger man who was smart and professional.  He had a lot to go with him.  We had amazing sexual chemistry, and I should not post this, but he was amazing in bed.  Of course, it is possible given my history that I am easily impressed. Nonetheless, it was amazing.  And I think I loved him too.  I really did.  Intelligence level was not a factor but we thought so differently and had such different world views that we fought a lot.  We just did not see eye to eye.  We fought so much that I began to feel guilty when we would go to bed because in between rolls in the hay he made me feel bad about myself and I could not make him happy.  Needless to say, that kind of passion also had a passionate end.

My libido is once again calling me to action, so to speak.  I am rather taken with a certain marine that is so devilishly handsome I am amazed he finds me attractive.  I do not see what he sees.  Maybe he likes me for my mind.  Ha!  As far as his mind and heart, I would have to stop kissing the man long enough to find out.  I know he would give me beautiful, strong, and intelligent healthy children.  I also predict we’d have a good time making those babies.  But the mind and heart part?  We will have to see.

So, so I hold out to try to find the heart, mind and body in one man, or should I just outsource?  I think we need to have a meeting.