Life in 3D- Dating: Am I Being a Guy About This?

            This is pretty much first in Charlotte J’s life.  I was picked up at a gas station.  I know, crazy and just a little cheap, this very attractive young man asked me about my Element while I was pumping gas.  It is a rather unique looking car, after all.  We talked a bit about the car and I told him I just moved here and no, it was not to follow my Navy husband, I’m single.  He invited me to the fair that was in town.  He said it was “Ladies’ Night.”  I had to decline.  I happened to be filling up to go on another date a town or two away.   This mid-fifties African-American woman at the pump next to me said, “I don’t think he was just telling you about the fair, I think he wants you to go with him.”  The guy’s window was open and he called out as he was driving away, “I think you’re right.”  Then the lady said, “Girl, he is cute, you better go get him!”

                But I didn’t.  Like I said, I had a prior engagement.  He followed me.  Wow.  He followed me down a rather busy two lane highway and flashed his lights for me to pull over.  I know, this sounds vaguely stalker-ish.  But this is the South and maybe men down here are just more persistent.  And besides, there is a fine line between stalker behavior and romantic gesture.  I called my girlfriend in my hometown to tell her of this oddly sweet-yet-psycho pick-up and she told me that I should pull over and make out with him immediately.  So I did.  I pulled over in front of a hardware store and I talked to him and gave him my number but did not kiss him. I am not that easy.

He pursued me.  I don’t think you understand how startling that is to a girl like me.  I mean he literally chased me down the road just to get my number. Now this would scare off other woman, but I was incredibly flattered.  I mean, my whole life I have been a dorky over-weight choir girl.  For a HOT, and I mean SUPER-HOT, marine guy to pursue me surprises the inhibition right out of me, not to mention the wisdom.  Other men I feel I had to “talk them into” liking me.   My own husband would barely touch me the last few years so this kind of attention was so………… refreshing.  It made me feel powerful.  Is this what the other girls feel like?  Is this what it feels like to be pretty?

                A week went by.  The other guy I had a date with, well, let’s just say that it kind of fizzled out.  It was not worth the almost 50 mile commute.  And if a man is not worth the commute, he is not worth one’s time at all.  So, the gas station guy kept texting and I finally texted back and agreed to meet him at the Waffle House after choir practice.  No, this is not a scene from a movie, this actually happened.  I had to rush out of church choir practice to have a date with a marine at a Waffle House. 

                So I am at the Waffle House eating my hash browns, drinking my diet coke and I can barely look at this man.  He is devastatingly handsome.  I swear I had to look away lest I melt into warm goo at the sight of his eyes that were as deep and blue as the ocean.  He has that rare combination of dark hair, blue eyes, and a tan because; this is Florida, after all.  He has a goatee, so he is not active military right now.  I think he is some kind of chef.  Everyone is a chef down here on the coast.  But really, I wasn’t listening.

                And here is where I think I am turning into a “guy.”  He is sooooooooooooooooo handsome.  I mentioned his pretty eyes and I love the way it felt when he looked at me.  He was undressing me with his eyes and it did not make me feel cheap or used, it made me feel beautiful.  He also has a fantastic body.  I mean, he is a marine, or was, so he is still in good shape.  He might have put on a little weight working in a restaurant, but I do not care at all.   I really, really think he is sexy.  We talked about our interests, told each other the Cliff notes of our life stories, but all I could think about was kissing him.  I was very nervous.  I am sure this man has sailed the seven seas and has seen a lot of women’s bedrooms in that time.  I feel like a little girl in his presence.  I feel like I know very little of the world of men, sex, and romance.  He probably thinks this is sweet and a bit of a challenge.  What man wouldn’t? 

As much as I was enjoying this portion of the date, I wanted to hurry up with this part so I could kiss him.  I just wanted to feel his muscles and kept wondering what he looks like naked. This is bad of me.  I should have been paying attention, but my hormones were just going crazy and I could not think straight. 

                My date noticed that I kept looking away and asked me why.  I told him it was because he was so attractive.  I just said it.  He had me look right into his eyes and told me, “Charlotte, I assure you, I am very, very attracted to you.  I think you are beautiful, smart, and charming.  Trust me; I am very much interested in you.  I don’t care if you were to tell me that you are homeless and you’ve got nothing to your name but that car in the parking lot and that is stolen, I am still very much attracted to you.”  Wow.  So, the check was paid and we went around driving in my car, because really, I don’t know him all that well, and we went “Geo Cashing” which is some kind of high-tech scavenger hunt.

                And finally, we parked near the Pensacola Sound and made out.  Wow…. It was worth the wait.  That is all I am going to say about that.  I mean, I might be the kind of girl that gets picked up at gas stations but I am still a lady.

                But once again, there is this guilt for being physically attracted to this man.  I think that maybe I should check his resume, or do a crossword with him or something else uber-intellectual, but really I enjoyed driving around looking for the little prizes and deciphering clues for Geo-Cash and really want to just kiss him a lot.  I mean a lot.  And I want to touch him.  I want to touch him an awful lot.  So, am I turning into a guy?  I can’t seem to see past his attractiveness and sexiness to get to know him well because my body is screaming at me to take him.  I am little frightened of this feeling.  I don’t quite know what to do about it.  I think I am turning into the kind of guy girls complain about it.  The kind of guy that just thinks about sex and checking a girl out rather than really listen and try to “get to know” the other person.  I am trying…. Really… I am trying to be a good girl.  But it is hard when I look into his eyes.  God, his eyes.  Lord, help us all.