Life in 3D: Diet and Excercise- What Reallly Motivates Me in the Gym

Sex      

Vanity

Pride

Anger

but mostly sex

Let me explain....

I have gone up and down in weight a lot over the years. For this blog, I’m going to focus on my adult life. I think a kid’s weight problem can be a reflection of the family, but that’s another story. (People are going to freak out about that statement, but I think it’s true.)

My first major weight loss as an adult occurred my freshmen year of college. I knew that some of my wacky weight loss techniques I used in high school were no longer an option. Let's just say that they were not really feasible in a group living situation.

I did not weigh myself during this time, but I believe I lost about fifty pounds that year. I know I went down four sizes. Once again, not posting actual numbers, but I know that I went to the mall for Christmas my sophomore year and shopped at “The Limited” and I was thrilled as hell.

What worked that year were two of my strongest motivators: Anger, pride and frustration. Angry at who I was, pride of what I could become, and frustration I wasn’t there yet. More specifically... I wanted a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend either. Despite popular belief, chubby girls can get boyfriends, but I didn’t want just any boyfriend. I wanted a high quality boyfriend. I wanted to be attractive to as broad and deep a gene pool as possible. I decided in order to achieve the highest level of personal hotness I would have to lose some weight.

I didn’t really go on a “diet.” I just ate smaller portions of dorm food and lots of veggies. I never eaten broccoli before I went to college and it became one of my favorite vegetables. I also worked out. I worked out a lot. I walked/ran the track, was on the bike, the elliptical machine (still one of my favorites). I also did some strength training. I befriended a girl on a swim team and she was very supportive. She didn’t judge me or think of me as a tragically flawed “fat girl.” To her working out was neither a punishment or a transformative wand that would make all make all insecurities disappear, it was just something you did. For the first time, I started to bridge the mind/body disconnect.

I also discovered aerobics. Step aerobics was really popular in the mid-nineties. At first I could only do the platform, but I tried to keep up with the other girls in their cute little thong leotards as much as possible. Thongs leotards were also popular mid-nineties. I later was able to do with one riser and then two. I never did the thong thing though. I do have some dignity.

During aerobics class, my focus was just keeping up. I have a huge ego. In fact, I’d say my ego is even bigger than my ass. I was not going to let little things like a stitch in my side or heart palpitations let me fall behind. What kept me going in aerobics classes was pride. What kept me going on the treadmill was something even more primal.

While running the track, the treadmill, or climbing endlessly on the Stairmaster I thought about boys. I thought about boys a lot. Sweat would drip down my face but was really making me breathe hard as the thought of having a man’s hands all over my new, tight body. I thought about the boys I liked, boys I thought I could get, and all the boys that I would meet in the future when I was thin and therefore hot.

Once again, not to sound egotistical, but I believed (and was told) I had “such a pretty face.” This is the bullshit people say out of pity. It is like saying, “She’d be cute, if only...” This was the anger component. Being judged and dismissed by not only boys but all of society. That is what I thought, whether it was true or not. I knew I had a “nice personality” but I was damn sick of being “the funny fat girl”. I was tired of being “just friends” with boys and then having them sleep with my girlfriends.

So, let’s review what worked:
Getting out of the house and away from my family’s bad eating habits.
Living in an environment where I felt safe and challenged to reinvent myself.
Eating healthy without over thinking.
Working out tons with cardio and strength training.
Motivated by ego and a teenager’s obsessive desire to get laid.

Incidently, losing weight worked like a charm. I got a high quality boyfriend within two weeks of transferring to a certain Big 10 state school.

He said I had nice legs.