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- I do not really live in Pensacola. Pensacola is fifteen miles away. I really live on Perdido Key which happens to be dangerously close to a Navy Base. Safe for the country, but a danger to my virture. I could walk there. There is also a beach practically in my backyard. The “poor side of Paradise” is still pretty nice. I am blessed to be here. There are some people in the Pensacola area that think anywhere around Perdido Key is posh and where the “rich people live” and that is simply not true. There are trailers across the street from mansions and both millionaires and the homeless were flip-flops everywhere. There are haves and have nots, but it is kind of hard to tell. Well, I guess the poor people ride their bikes or walk to the beach. But if you live along the Emerald Coast, you environment is enriching enough.
2. I am tripping over eligible guys down here. Hot Navy guys (and civilians) run along Gulf Beach Highway right in front of our house. It’s a beautiful thing. Yeah, there are old guys on lame three-wheeled bikes too, but they are enjoying life on the beach if not contributing to the overall scenery.
3. Southern men are more courteous and aggressive at the same time. Yes, it is possible to be both. I swear, in my 30+ years in ____, I was rarely hit on under any circumstances. I don’t know what it is because I am the same girl. Maybe the men are more forward or the standards of beauty are different down here, I don’t know. I just know a girl like me has no reason to go hungry or thirsty in this town. I have men come up to talk to me just about everywhere I go (besides church, for some reason) and I don’t think it is just Southern hospitality either. I have been hit on at a gas station twice this week. And they weren’t gross guys either. One was an older guy, but the other was a pretty hot age-appropriate Marine (see earlier post). My father warned me that Marines are “heart breakers” and “life takers.” Besides, I am not the kind of girl that gets picked up at a gas station. I could have a whole post… a whole book about comparing and contrasting Southern men, but it would require way more research than my little heart can bare. ;)
4. I understand why Southern belles would get the “vapors.” I never got the vapors in the Midwest. The "vapors" is when you feel light-headed, short of breath, a little nauseous and about to faint. I felt this most recently in my choir robe last week. It was almost 90 degrees with 90% humidity. We were indoors, but air conditioning can only do so much and we were wearing polyester robes under bright lights. I was sweating like a whore in church. Oh, if only I deserved it, but I was just hot. I am NOT used to the heat and humidity yet. To paraphrase Tom Robbins from <span>Jitterbug Perfume</span>,
“Louisiana (or the Gulf Coast for that matter) in September was like an obscene phone call from nature. The air - moist, sultry, secretive, and far from fresh - felt as if it were being exhaled into one's face. Sometimes it even sounded like heavy breathing.”
5. Learning new terms, to describe myself. I am a “ginger girl.” Usually a “ginger” is someone with red hair, but it can apply to any young female with fair skin with freckles that burns easily. Knowing one's SPF is necessary in this part of the world. Mine is 30. The next term was not directed at me specifically, but I think it applies. A “wootie” is a white girl with a typical African-American rounded backside.
6. I must agree with my father, “You have to bring your own money to Perdido Key, because you sure as hell can’t make any here.” Jobs are hard to come by anywhere, but it is hard in Perdido Key especially. This area is almost totally retired, military, or retired military. I am looking for work in Pensacola, Gulf Breeze, Fort Walton Beach, and as far as Mobile, Alabama.
7. I stand out as a “Yankee” even before I speak. My lack of accent gives me away. People might get the idea that I am a “snow bird” and will have the good manners to leave in the spring. I also walk and talk too quickly with an unnecessary sense of purpose. Everything is on “beach time” around here and things are just done “eventually.” Stores close and open randomly throughout the day and the week, especially during the very coveted Red Snapper season. I am perceived as being more curt and guarded than most Southerners/beach residents. Well, honey I got more to hide than what a flimsy bathing suit “cover up” will cover up. And I forget to say “sir” and “ma’am” at the beginning and end of each sentence. I guess I have entirely too much to do and too much information to convey than the heat and humidity will allow my fellow Floridians attention will allow.
8. I am NOT fat. At least I am not Gulf Coast fat. Yes, there are some hard bodies with store bought boobs, but really, fat is all relative. Now, after I lost some weight, I am not really obese and look “normal.” I am still a “big girl.” I mean, come on, I am nearly six feet tall in “reasonable” heels. But I am not fat, I dress well, and I wear a bra everywhere I go in public as if it is federally mandated. Others down here feel that modesty or containment of one’s jigglies is merely a suggestion rather than a necessary social convention. Maybe it is just too damn hot to wear anything too constricting and underwire might very well rust and salty air. But, still, my Momma raised me right. This area is known as the “Redneck Rivera” frequented by some of the fattest states in the nation, Alabama and Mississippi. Yeah, I am not even in the running as most likely to be mistaken as a beached manatee in these parts. Not that I am hating on these people. I say work it, own it. It is your body and if other people don’t’ like it, they don’t have to look. And hey, Alabama State fan guy weighing over 350 lbs wearing nothing but trunks on the beach looking like he’s wearing a hirsute because real men don’t manscape… you go, Man, you get down with your bad self. Yeah, people do not give a shit. I love it.
More observations to come.
LOL, Your words are very true.
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